I lead an interesting life in that I have two life streams. Sometimes the streams merge, but they can be quite disparate. My younger life stream is an ecstatic, chaotic, and expansive life stream. We can call her Ecels. The other is biznaas as usual life stream. This one has been present all my life. Ecels emerged in my 20s. I live her for periods of time and eventually she enters hibernation, perhaps allowing my other life stream to integrate her life into the others narrative. Ecels is younger. She’s lived out in the world less and when she comes out of hibernation, her narrative continues from where it left off. She first emerged in 2004 for three months and the went to sleep. In 2008 she came out for eight months and then went dormant again. She made a brief months appearance in 2010. I 2012 she came out for four months at the beginning and two months at the end. Similarly in 2014 she appeared for three months at the beginning of the year and three months at the end. She’s young. A little older than 2, but quite a sage 2 year old. Ecels thinks very deep thoughts and has a great grasp of changing reality. The way she processes reality is fascinating. She can see it through one whole lens at a time. She seeing the world through a Daoist lens and other eastern philosophies, psychodynamics and other Western psychology to cutting-edge neurobiology. She has energetic superpowers. She is very skilled in handling heart space but sometimes gives off and takes in more energetic than she realizes. She is developing shamanic capacity. Some of her challenges are boundaries and getting lost in metaphorical or archetypical places. And never wanting to sleep when she needs rest. She’s a very fast learner when she has encountered something from before, even if it is very challenging like being reborn she learns how to manage. She’s very sparkly-eyed and open and people tend to gravitate toward her except when she’s too intense.
I’ve been blessed with the capacity to navigate intense archetypical emotional spaces. The most recent being the “war refugee”. Past down through intergenerational trauma and walking in areas of scarcity in the streets of Oakland, and feeling low on resources myself, I learn the light and shadow attributes of this emotional state. A need for hustle, hyper vigilance, camaraderie and also a sense of being ravaged while maintaining pride, strength, and resourcefulness. I hope this ability will help me be a better therapist.